The Magical Black Goldfish
by BitterCandies
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto decides to buy a black goldfish on one fine day. However, this is no ordinary fish; it can grant him three wishes. NaruSasu, oneshot AU


The Magical Black Goldfish

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

When Uzumaki Naruto was eighteen – in the so-called prime of his life - he bought a black goldfish from the aquarium just across his school.

"But this is no ordinary goldfish," Old-man Jiraiya chuckled, allowing Naruto a better glimpse at the small finned-creature, swimming lazily around its tank.

"It's magical."

Naruto frowned and stared at the thing. It was not particularly outstanding compared to the other larger, colourful fish and nor did it look to possess any sort of magical power.

It was, put simply, a boring old black goldfish.

"Hey," Naruto said, giving Old-man Jiraiya a sceptical glance. "You sure you're not senile yet? I mean, look at this thing. Aren't black goldfish supposed to ward off bad luck or something?(1)"

Old-man Jiraiya ignored Naruto's apparent stupidity and ignorance concerning his magical black goldfish.

"Well," He paused uncertainly, "it can grant you three wishes."

"…Like a genie in the lamp? Except it's a goldfish in a tank?" Naruto questioned, giving the goldfish in question yet another searching look.

"Maa, something like that. But I'm not supposed to be telling you things like this. Your Kaa-san will not be happy." Old-man Jiraiya stroked his chin thoughtfully, frowning slightly.

Naruto's mother was red-headed, strong-willed and disliked her son's overactive imagination for the unreal. Apparently, she'd had quite enough of Naruto's previous declarations of being a 'Hokage'.

Most of Naruto's whims stemmed from hearing, as Naruto's mother dubbed, nonsensical faerietale stories from Old-man Jiraiya. And although Jiraiya was an old family friend, Naruto's mother did not tolerate him feeding her son 'lies' about things in general.

"At any case," Naruto announced loudly (like the way he announced that he wanted to eat ramen in the middle of class) "I don't quite have enough money on me to buy that fish."

Old-man Jiraiya pursed his lips. "I could- I could sell it at a discount for you."

Naruto's bright cerulean blue eyes lit up, making his eyes blindingly bright and hard to look at, "Really?"

"Yes, really." Old-man Jiraiya was not exactly happy on cutting down his profits on his stock of fish – the aquarium was small and run-down and he needed to pay off his debts from drinking.

Naruto punched the air in elation (because even a discounted goldfish was worth a teensy-bit of celebration, and plus he'd been _somewhat_ looking for a black goldfish anyway.) and cried, "Alright! Now this is all I have," and spilled the contents of his frog-purse onto Jiraiya's tiny and rather sticky – for god knows what reasons – counter.

It took around a good thirty minutes for Old-man Jiraiya to sort out all the coins and count a grand total of two hundred and fifty-seven yen. After much rummaging through his school bag and pockets, which took another good fifteen minutes or so, Naruto managed to find another twenty-two yen.

In which Old-man Jiraiya had complied with giving Naruto the magical black goldfish for a simple fee of two hundred and seventy-nine yen, leaving Old-man Jiraiya cutting down his already miniscule profits and Naruto penniless.

And thus, Uzumaki Naruto, eighteen going onto nineteen, in the prime of his life – bought a black goldfish. Be it magical or not.

* * *

The magical black goldfish was perhaps not as magical as Old-man Jiraiya said it would be, for as Naruto emptied the plastic bag containing the small black thing into a small tank (which was actually just a used container for storing Naruto's collection of marbles previously) all it did was swim around its new environment languidly.

Naruto stared at it, willing for it to blast some magical power with its eyes or combust on the spot or something.

It simply roved around the plastic container, taking its time to stare back at Naruto with its black, coal eyes.

After a particularly long period of having a staring contest with the goldfish, Naruto gave up on all hope that it would ever become an eye-blasting combusting-on-the-spot kind of magical freakish goldfish.

Naruto also cursed Old-man Jiraiya aloud many times, for in the safety of his apartment, Naruto could curse anyone he liked for as loudly as he wanted to. With the exception of his next-door neighbour, who had a peculiar sense of hearing his name from miles away.

Despite the fact that the goldfish was bought at a much cheaper price at Old-man Jiraiya's aquarium as compared to other classier aquariums, Naruto still felt cheated.

And so, the feeling of being cheated last throughout Naruto's remainder of the year, and other than changing the goldfish's water regularly and feeding it, Naruto did not like to look at the goldfish anymore.

It swimming around drearily reminded Naruto to never trust old men's tales, no matter how intrigued he was.

* * *

In the summer of Naruto's nineteenth year, something strange happened.

It was Kiba's fault, really. Naruto had been dragged to go drinking with the guys again, despite how bad of a drunk he was.

And so, Naruto had (once again) embarrassed himself thoroughly whilst being unaware, the task of lugging Naruto's unsteady and heavy body home had befallen upon Kiba.

Stumbling and singing loudly on the deserted streets, Kiba had to admit that Naruto was one hell of a nuisance when intoxicated. Somewhere someone had opened a door and yelled, "Shut up!" but Kiba paid it no heed.

"Y'know Kiba," Naruto hiccupped drunkenly, "I have a magical goldfish."

"Oh do you?" Kiba asked uninterestedly. He hoped that it was not going to be some alcohol-influenced hallucination which might make Naruto do something stupid (again) and end in tears. On his part.

The last time Naruto went drinking, Kiba remembered vividly that the aftermath had involved Tsunade's much uneeded wrath, a sailor uniform and several dozen bags of flour that Kiba was still puzzled as to where they had come from.

"Yesh I do you, you ignorant mongrel!" Naruto shouted to the heavens above, cheeks becoming (if it were even possible) even redder due to his sudden burst of anger.

"It was magical! Or so Old-man Jiraiya said! That old man's a liar! A liar I tell you." Naruto seemed to get more and more agitated by the memory of the goldfish sold to him by that _fraud_. He flailed his arms wildly, and shouted to the (thankfully) empty streets, "I'm gonna kill him. And that stuuuuupid fish, I tell ya."

Kiba's face was turning red too, though it was from the exertion of trying to keep Naruto's increasingly heavy limbs steady. The short walk to the blonde's apartment suddenly seemed very long.

"Okay, whatever." Kiba puffed, unwilling to argue with Naruto in his current state.

Upon reaching Naruto's apartment at long last, the two crashed open the door and Kiba dumped Naruto mercilessly onto the cold floor without regret.

Naruto could only register blurrily of Kiba's quick, "See ya later okay!" and the slamming of the apartment door which followed after as Kiba made his escape. Dragging himself to his feet, Naruto swayed unsteadily as he walked (or tried to) towards the direction of his bedroom.

At least in the direction he thought his bedroom was.

Unfortunately, his bedroom turned out to be the kitchen whereby Naruto decided to get a glass of water instead. Clumsily turning on the tap, Naruto's knees had decided to turn jelly at that moment, causing him to unintentionally dunk his head under the cold water.

Wet, and a bit more sober, Naruto frowned as he felt a pair of eyes staring at him. Turning around, he saw the black goldfish staring at him with its obsidian eyes.

"What' cha staring at!" Snapped Naruto, feeling irritated as the goldfish continued staring, giving Naruto a vague impression that he was being looked down by it.

Remembering what he had said to Kiba earlier on, Naruto felt a great deal even more irritated at the reminder of being cheated of his naivete for magical things by Old-man Jiraiya.

"You're not even magical. Hell, I don't even know why I bought you in the first place." Naruto continued, glaring at it. It appeared that Naruto was perhaps drunker than he previously thought he was. Talking to his own fish.

"I don't either. What kind of moron _are_ you?"

Naruto blinked once.

"What the _fuck_. Did you just talk?" Naruto was trying to calm his rapidly-increasing heartbeat, lest he die of some heart attack in the midst of having some sort of hallucination.

"I'm pretty sure you heard me, Oh-Stupid-One." The black goldfish replied snarkily.

"And I'm pretty sure goldfishes don't talk." Naruto snapped back with as much vigor. "Plus you're not magical."

"Well excuse _you_ for your rudeness," The Talking Black Goldfish replied haughtily. "I happen to possess some magical ability, though not very much."

Naruto was feeling increasingly vexed whilst talking to the Snarky Asshole Talking Black Goldfish Which May Possess Some Magical Ability. "Why didn't you say anything – oh, I don't know, _several_ months _earlier_?!"

"Why, you didn't say anything." Was The Snarky Asshole Goldfish's reply. "And you seemed quite contented with staring at me intensely for long periods of time," It added for good measure.

Naruto did not know if he wanted to kill the stupid fish or himself.

"Okay," Naruto forced himself to calm down. It would not be good for health to have suicidal urges to kill himself because of a talking fish. No matter how much of an asshole it seemed.

"So what can you do?" Naruto asked curiously, bending down to peer closer at it. So far, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, except that it was talking.

Naruto found himself handling the shock pretty well. It was as though it was a normal occurrence to suddenly find one's goldfish possessing the ability to speak.

Naruto was not freaked out at all. Not in the least bit.

"Haven't you been listening to Jiraiya at all?" The goldfish glared in annoyance at the blonde. "No wonder you didn't say anything to me at all – I bet that empty head of yours is simply stuffed with cotton wool."

"What did Old-man Jiraiya say?" Demanded Naruto impatiently, choosing to very maturely ignore the insult that the goldfish directed to him.

"I can grant you three wishes." The goldfish huffed irritably, as though almost reluctant to part with the information.

"O-Oh. I thought that being magical you would have shown some sign of-"

"Oh, you meant like those stupid television shows where things blast stuff out from their eyes? I thought you were a moron at first, but this is too much."

"I didn't think of that," Naruto lied. He would rather die than let this small snarky goldfish know that it was not far from the truth.

"Sure you didn't." The goldfish's tone of voice was not particularly reassuring.

It suddenly occurred to Naruto that this entire conversation may be some alcohol-induced dream.

"Well." Naruto paused, not entirely sure of what he wanted to say, "It's been nice talking to you. I hope that I'll wake up soon."

The goldfish proved once again that it was a class-A asshole, "Is there no limit to your idiocy? This is obviously not a dream."

"Why don't you prove it?" Challenged Naruto, feeling slightly light-headed and not like himself.

"Why should I?" Came the annoyed reply. "If you want to continue basking in your ignorance then be my guest. I am not obliged to perform cheap parlour tricks for you."

"But you said you would grant me three wishes!" Naruto protested, realizing that he was making very little sense.

"If I recall correctly, you did not wish for anything."

Naruto sighed in frustration as he grabbed the nearest stool next to the table where the plastic container held the goldfish. "Can I wish for you to be less annoying?"

"Nope." Naruto could _hear_ the smirk in the goldfish's voice and knew that the stupid creature enjoyed making his life miserable.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Naruto mumbled the first thought that came to his head. "I wish that the storeroom would be filled with nothing but beef-flavored ramen." In which he then proceeded to plonk head first onto the kitchen table, fast asleep within moments.

If Naruto had been awake for a few moments longer, he would have heard a small irritable voice muttering, "Your wish has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard. What kind of idiot are you, really?"

* * *

The very next day, Naruto woke up with one hell of a hangover. Some time during the intervals of Naruto emptying out his guts into the toilet bowl, Kiba managed to pop in.

"I knew this would happen." Kiba sighed, although not altogether sympathetic. He had seen this scene far too many times.

"So why didn't you stop me?" Naruto whined, feeling a mixture of regret and being sorry for himself.

"You couldn't be stopped." Was the bland reply as Kiba stalked out of the bathroom to fetch Naruto some medicine and a glass of water.

After Kiba had finally gotten sick of mothering Naruto, he said his goodbyes quickly, saying something about seeing this girl that just might be 'The One' for him.

Naruto didn't wish him luck.

When he entered the kitchen, everything looked the same apart from the used cutlery and missing food (in courtesy of Kiba) and thus concluded that last night _was_ indeed some alcohol-induced dream. It was weird that he had remembered most of it though, considering that Naruto was used to having a clean conscience and no memory after drinking.

He turned to the storeroom, thinking about that random wish he had made. 'Ah well,' Naruto mused to himself, 'there's no way _that _would ever happen. I mean, there's got to be at last half a lifetime's worth of ramen in that storeroom, no matter how small it is.' And so he turned the knob and opened the door.

Which resulted him getting buried under tons and tons of ramen packets, which gushed out like water being held back by a dam, submerging the blonde. Groaning, Naruto pushed countless packets off his person and realized that they were all _beef flavored._

Feeling slightly nauseous, Naruto scrambled to his wobbly feet and reentered the kitchen, eyes scanning desperately for the water-filled cheap plastic container.

"Back from the dead already?" questioned an all-too familiar (and rather irritating) voice.

Naruto turned and found the black goldfish staring at him in the holier-than-thou way and decided that life was unfair.

"You!" He almost shouted in a mixture of horror and desperation. The only thing that prevented Naruto from making a huger fuss than he inwardly wanted to was that blasted headache which remained throbbing in his temple.

"Me," Said the black goldfish nonchalantly.

Naruto was too horrified to formulate any words for a moment. He opened his mouth several times and since no sound came through, was forced to close it again. "You..I..It was supposed to be a dream!"

The fish swam disinterestedly in circles around its enclosed space, unconcerned as to how Naruto was currently having a huge freak-out. It appeared that the only thing preventing Naruto from having the biggest freak-out of his too-short life was the alcohol from last night.

"This can't be happening!" Naruto cried. The goldfish observed the blonde with its coal-black eyes and remarked, "Well, I'm not exactly surprised at your current state. One would probably not have been so freaked out had they not wished for copious amounts of beef-flavored ramen."

Naruto chose to ignore the goldfish, pulling at his hair in agitation instead. He half-contemplated upon ripping out his hair, but then decided that being half-bald _in_ addition to having a freakish talking goldfish was not a good idea.

"I don't see the reason for the huge fuss, honestly," The black goldfish continued remorselessly. "you were expecting some mutant fish blasting things from its eyes. I'm pretty sure a talking fish which grants you three- no, make that two, wishes is less traumatizing to behold."

Naruto mulled over the goldfish's words in his head and found reason in them, although he would never admit it aloud to the ego-puffed little thing.

"And what if I decide to take you back to Old-man Jiraiya?" Naruto said aloud, wondering if he could get a refund for getting some Snarky Asshole fish. He knew he should've bought one of the more exciting specimen of fish.

The black goldfish snorted with derisive laughter. It stared at Naruto rather pityingly and scornfully, "Then you are a fool. Who doesn't want three wishes, of their utmost desire, to be granted?"

But you're such an asshole, Naruto wanted to say very badly. An asshole of the greatest kind.

"Argh," Naruto said very eloquently.

"I'll just- go out to think things over," He finished lamely. Looking pathetic even in the eyes of your own _fish,_ he thought miserably.

The finned animal simply said, "Don't hurt yourself too badly," in a scathing tone. As Naruto stumbled around the overflowing ramen packets laid out for people like him to trip over trying to find his shoes, the goldfish added, "By the way, have I told you my name, Oh-Great-Moronic-One?"

"Aren't I supposed to give you your name?" Naruto snapped in reply, having successfully located one of his tattered old sneakers hiding in the small corner next to his obnoxiously bright orange sofa. "I am your _owner,_ afterall." The word owner left Naruto's mouth a bad aftertaste as he grimaced silently.

The goldfish, true to Naruto's assumptions about it being a bastard, said rather mockingly,"Don't praise yourself. You're simply needed for me to waste magical energy upon, usuratonkachi."

"The name's Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto!" The said blonde yelled out in annoyance. Somewhere next door, there was a muffled voice which shouted, "Shut up, Naruto!"

"Well, _usuratonkachi,"_ The black goldfish continued as if it had not heard Naruto's outburst, "the name's Sasuke."

* * *

Naruto walked out of the apartment, half-vexed to death. He'd almost wished that he had never spoken to that goldfish on 'The Night Of Weakness' as he so rightfully dubbed the first night they had spoken.

The streets of Konoha were busy as usual, bustling with various sorts of people from all walks of life.

Strolling leisurely, Naruto felt more relaxed than he had in the past two (horrible) days. The sounds of blaring traffic and schoolgirls chattering away calmed his frigid nerves.

The hot, summer night air made it perfect to go walking around in the evening without a need for a jacket, and Naruto inwardly rejoiced his freedom away from the goldfish. Plus, he needed some time to adjust to the sudden turn of events.

He would perhaps buy one- or maybe make that three - extra large bowls of miso ramen. Perhaps he would get a drink. Talk to friends he hadn't seen in a while. Or perhaps-

_Brrrinnngggg_.

"Hello?" Naruto managed to ask after much fumbling around for his mobile phone and short debate with himself whether or not to pick up the call.

_"Naruto-kun?" _

"Temari? Hey, how's it going!" Naruto replied happily at the sound of one of his closer friends. Naruto could hear the roll of Temari's eyes and the slight exhalation of air as she huffed indignantly.

_"It's Temari_-chan_ to you you bozo!"_ He heard her say, sounding mock-angry._ "You're not close enough to drop that honorific with me, Na-ru-to-_kun_."_ (2)

Naruto shrugged casually even though he knew she could not see the action and laughed good-naturedly. "Well, you're not cute enough for me to call you _Temari-chan,_ so I'll just stick with Temari. So what're you calling for anyway?"

_"You're impossible. Kiba-kun is organizing a gou-kon_(3) _so we're wondering if you'd like to come." _

"Sure," Naruto said, inwardly thinking that going to a gou-kon was way better than spending time in his claustrophobic apartment talking to his goldfish. That was just sad on so many levels and detrimental to his sanity. "so, when is it?"

_"Tonight, at eight. Can you make it?" _

Naruto frowned a bit, glancing at his orange digimon watch. _19:35,_ it read in green glowing numbers. "Not that I'm really complaining since I'm outside anyway- but what's the sudden rush? I mean, I saw Kiba today and he didn't mention any gou-kon." Naruto did not care to mention that when Kiba saw him it was during the process of hurling chunks of last night's dinner into the toilet bowl.

_"Well, because Hinata-chan told him that her close friend was flying here today and wanted to give said friend a...welcoming party of some sort."_

"Oh." Kicking at some dried leaves on the side of the pavement, Naruto serenely watched a shopkeeper bickering with his wife about how much they should have sold the sake for. Temari's smile could be heard as she said, _"I think_ _you're gonna like her. She's pretty cute, from what I've heard."_

"Says who?" Naruto jokingly replied, as he rounded another corner into a different street. Walking aimlessly, he could tell that this neighborhood was on the rich part of the city. The houses were simply enormous, complete with high, iron gates at the front to keep unwanted intruders out.

Naruto had never felt so out of place, with his ratty sneakers and somewhat dirty jeans. It wasn't as though Naruto was poor or anything, it was just that Naruto knew his family would never be able to afford this sort of luxury.

_"Says me you idiot!"_ Temari's voice blared into Naruto's ear, startling him for a second. He had almost forgotten that he was still on the phone.

He watched as one of the iron gates swung open and a rather short, well-dressed red-head stepped out followed by a taller, lankier blonde. "But Bocchama(4)!" The blonde was heard saying in exasperation to the other, "The Master specifically told me-"

"I don't care what father has told you." The short red-head drawled lazily, fixing heavy half-lidded eyes upon his counterpart. "Deidara, leave me alone. And call me Sasori."

The one called Deidara who was obviously a butler - given his uniform, sighed loudly. "I cannot leave you by your own devices, Sasori-sama. The Master'll have my head! Surely you know that!" Sasori did not look like he cared very much about his own butler's well-being, turning to walk away from him.

"Bocchama!" Deidara cried in agitation. The red-head did not respond, walking towards Naruto's direction, looking bored. "Sasori-sama! Sasori-sama!"

"What."

"You can't just leave-" Deidara spluttered, pushing his long, dark-blonde hair over his shoulder. Naruto thought that he looked very much like the girl who sat in front of him usual seat in his morning lecture - what was her name - Yamanaka Ino?

Sasori ignored the other's incoherent blabber and addressed Naruto directly, "You. What's your name?"

Naruto raised his eyebrows, hand still pressing his mobile phone next to his ear, not listening as Temari hollered down the line,_ "Hello? Hellooo? Naruto-kun? Naruto-kun, are you still there?" _

"Uzumaki Naruto," He replied, adding onto the confusion at Temari's side.

The short red-head nodded slowly, as if Naruto's name solved the mysteries of the universe. "Sabaku Sasori," He said, extending a small pale hand to shake Naruto's own tanned, uncertain one. He had heard of the Sabaku family. They were one of the richer families that resided in Konoha, what with the head of the family, Sabaku Gaara, businessman extraordinaire.

Deidara did not look pleased as he rushed towards them, trying his very best to drag the small, stubborn red-haired nuisance into the sanctuary of their home. "It's been a pleasure meeting you, Uzumaki Naruto," The long-haired butler said in a way that he felt far from pleasure upon meeting Naruto. "but we really have to go."

"Likewise," Naruto nodded, watching as Sasori somehow managed to extract himself from Deidara's grip on his expensive clothes and called out lazily, "Drop by sometime in the near future for some tea, Uzumaki Naruto!" before he was pulled into the enormous house again, the iron gates sliding shut with a final _clang._

Naruto nodded again as he turned away finally to walk along the narrow stretch of pavement. It was now almost eight in the evening and Temari's voice ranting at him, _"-honestly, no manners at all! Anyway, see you at the usual hangout."_ and the line went dead.

When he reached his destination, Naruto was not surprised that he was the latest among the entire group. He saw Temari shooting him a disapproving glare when her eyes fell on him before ushering him quickly. There, he saw Kiba grinning like an idiot to a pale, dark-haired girl that was prone to blushing alot, Neji and Tenten (from his Literature class), Shikamaru having a quick snooze on the table, and lastly_...her._

If Naruto had to name an ideal girl, it would be having to do with fair skin and delicate shoulders and smooth, silky-looking pink hair and eyes that were akin to emeralds. She was the most perfect girl he had ever laid his eyes upon.

Naruto thought he might be a teensy bit in love.

Temari had to just appear right beside his shell-shocked person and give him the most annoying smirk of the century. "Everyone, this is the annoying Uzumaki Naruto, and good friend of mine," She announced loudly, causing all heads to swivel around and focus on him.

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck in a rather embarrassed fashion. "Erm. Hello," He managed to say awkwardly, trying hard to ignore those lovely green, green eyes fixed upon him.

Temari's Evil Smirk of Doom was still etched upon her face. Waving a careless hand towards the furiously blushing dark-haired girl, she said slyly, "Hinata-chan, why don't you introduce Naruto-kun to our special guest tonight?" before giving Naruto a firm shove into Hinata's direction.

"N-Naruto-kun?" The meek-looking girl inquired politely, reaching out to shake his hand. "I'm Hyuuga Hinata. Nice to meet you."

Naruto grinned an Uzumaki Grin at her (guaranteed to charm girls one hundred percent!) and grasped the offered hand. The blush upon Hinata's cheeks went one notch darker as she smiled shyly at him. "Pleasure's all mine, darling," He replied smoothly, giving her a subtle wink. Hinata looked as though she was about to faint.

Kiba, who had been watching this entire interaction gave Naruto a disgruntled frown as he stood up to try and break all contact of Naruto from his beloved Hinata. However, Hinata was oblivious to this as she suddenly remembered about her shining goddess-like friend whom Naruto may be a teensy bit in love with.

Grabbing a hold of his left arm, the slender Hyuuga led him across the room to the pink-haired beauty. "Sakura-chan," She called gently as the said girl turned to look at the pair of them. "this is Naruto-kun." And pushed him (or shoved him) right next to Sakura.

Startling green eyes laughed in silent amusement as she greeted him with a voice that sounded like music to his ears, "Hello, Naruto-kun. My name is Haruno Sakura."

"H-Hi," Naruto said, feeling his cheeks grow hot. If it appeared that he was a stutter-er when he met the goddess of his love life, then he was doomed to grow old and dusty in a corner while everyone else (like that traitor Kiba) would go gadding off with someone else.

Naruto thought that he may be a little more than just a teensy bit in love.

* * *

It was to Naruto's chagrin that Old-man Jiraiya would not accept a refund.

"Why not, you senile old fart!" Naruto shouted angrily, his cerulean blue eyes flashing dangerously. "He's killing me! He taunts me everyday! Please, please let me give him back to you." The last part of Naruto's speech sounded suspiciously like a sob, but Jiraiya thankfully did not comment on it.

"Perhaps," The white-haired man began contemplatively, "you should just focus on how to communicate better with him." he nobly ignored Naruto's attempts to rip out his hair on his dirty, granite floor of his tiny aquarium.

Naruto rolled around the floor in mock-agony. "Communication? _Communication?_ That fish will be the death of me."

Old-man Jiraiya was not impressed by Naruto's antics. "I suggest that you go home, Naruto," He said wearily, rubbing his hand across his face. "I have to pack up."

Naruto sat up with a jolt. "Pack up? Where are you going?" Now that he looked around properly, Naruto realized that most of the shop was packed into various cardboard boxes of different sizes. How could he be so blind sometimes, Naruto had no idea. He wondered if he was part-mole.

Old-man Jiraiya sighed heavily and began to stand up. "I'm closing this shop. I no longer have the funds to keep it going, nor do I have any more money to give your refund to you, boy."

"Where are you going then?"

Jiraiya started to lift a few boxes and started stacking them precariously, in a hurried fashion. "Somewhere," Naruto's old family friend replied vaguely, eyes unfocused in front of him. "now run along."

"Not unless I can return you that stinking goldfish." Naruto knew he was being undeniably childish and to a certain extent selfish, but he did not really care at that moment.

"You can't."

"Why not!"

"He'll keep coming back to you. Naruto, if you want to get rid of him so badly, I suggest you use up all three wishes." Old-man Jiraiya's tone was final.

Naruto frowned, "But what happens when I use up all three wishes?"

"He'll disappear for good."

The blonde looked aghast at this new information. "But it's quite terrible isn't it? Taking away his life like that! I'm not so cruel as to simply make him disappear, no matter how asshole-ish he is to me! Isn't there another way?"

"That's for you to find out."

* * *

Naruto found himself meeting up with Sakura more and more often after that gou-kon. Sometimes it was in a group, and sometimes, more often than not, it was only the two of them.

"Oh, Naruto-kun," Sakura laughed daintily. "You're so humorous."

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment and laughed a bit too loudly, "Y-You think so? Hahaha." after the chuckles died down, a somewhat awkward silence descended upon them.

Naruto sometimes wondered what was wrong with him. Here he was, sitting in a romantic cafe with the supposedly-love-of-his-teenage-life and there he was thinking that there was something missing. Something like snarky comments and trying to out-wit the other.

...Oh hell no, Naruto did not just _miss_ his horrible asshole goldfish.

It wasn't as though Sakura was dull or anything - she was the perfect model of a witty, classy girl that men and boys alike drooled over. But she was missing something; something that made Naruto inwardly prefer staying in his claustrophobic apartment having arguments with his goldfish.

After talking to Old-man Jiraiya, Naruto had decided to get to know Sasuke the Black Goldfish better (to see if he was really an asshole). And much to Naruto's annoyance, he found himself gradually becoming fond of that snarky black thing.

It was really a pity that Naruto liked things that verbally abused him on a daily basis. Well, not really.

"-ruto-kun? Naruto-kun?" Sakura questioned, prodding his arm incessantly. "Are you alright? You weren't paying attention." Naruto mentally shook himself - he was what, _daydreaming_ about his pet now? - and offered Sakura a disarming smile.

"I'm sorry Sakura-chan, just feeling a bit tired. What did you say?"

Sakura shook her head, emerald-green eyes fixated worriedly upon his face. "I think you better go home, Naruto-kun. You look unwell. I'll bring you home." Naruto brushed off her comment, saying,"Nah, I'll be fine."

"I insist," Sakura said rather fiercely, and Naruto found himself wondering as to why couldn't Sakura act more like Sasuke sometimes - with more fire in her person.

* * *

Naruto brought Sakura back to his small, messy apartment on the third floor.

As Sakura took her time undoing the intricate bows on her boots, Naruto hurriedly rushed into the kitchen where Sasuke stared up at him lazily from his tank. "What's the rus-" The black goldfish began to say before it was shushed fiercely by Naruto.

"Listen, Sasuke. Sakura-chan is in this apartment now so I'll _really_ appreciate it if you don't make any noise. Seriously. Act like a normal fish for once."

The goldfish did not look pleased. "And what would I benefit from this? Why did you bring _her_ here anyway?" The response came out more venomous than Naruto had expected. "It couldn't be helped, I tried to stop-"

"Naruto-kun?" Sakura called from the entrance. "Naruto-kun, where are you?"

Naruto made a noise which sounded like a half-strangled cat. "Anyway, please do me this favor. Things won't look good if everyone finds out I have a _talking_ goldfish." He whispered urgently to Sasuke. "Coming!" He shouted back to the pinkette, leaving the kitchen- although not before shooting Sasuke a warning glare.

"There you are," Sakura smiled cutely when Naruto reappeared. "I was wondering what were you doing."

Naruto laughed nervously and rubbed his neck (he realized he had been doing that more often recently). "J-Just erm...tidying things up."

Sakura placed her hands on her hips and her demeanor seemed to change as she gave the apartment a critical look. "Naruto-kun, this place is a mess." Naruto shrugged uncomfortably and adverted his gaze from those suddenly stern emerald-green eyes.

Sakura huffed and made a distinct 'tsk' which no doubt showed her disapproval for men who lived in pigstys. Naruto felt himself edging slowly away from her unconsciously. "We have to get this place cleaned up," She declared those horrible words that Naruto thought only his mother dared to use. Oh, the horror of horrors.

"Sakura-chan, I was feeling unwell right? So I guess you had better go home now," Naruto babbled, trying to keep the edge of desperation out of his voice.

"Naruto-kun, I-"

_Crash._

Naruto spun around in the direction of the noise. It most likely came from the kitchen where Naruto knew something black and most likely black-tempered was waiting. What the hell was Sasuke's problem?

_Crash._

"Ne, Sakura-chan," Naruto turned back to the girl, flashing his Uzumaki Grin (desperate times call for desperate measures), "I think it's best if you leave." _Because I have a homicidal goldfish who most likely wants to maim you. And me, for the record. _

The pink-haired girl had a mixture of concern and worry etched upon her lovely face. "Are you sure, Naruto-kun? What was that noise-"

_Crash._

"Oh, would you look at the time!" Naruto chirped brightly, his grin hurting his cheeks. "Goodbye, Sakura-chan! I'll see you around, okay?" And with that, he proceeded to push the protesting pinkette out of his apartment before closing the door firmly with a _snap._

In which Naruto then proceeded to storm back into his tiny kitchen where the problem lay.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He shouted at Sasuke, while his eyes took in the damage in his kitchen - a battered and broken chair and pieces of china that were probably once a bowl. Damn that stupid fish, Naruto already broke too many of those bowls on his own.

And wait, how did Sasuke even do all of that? He was a _fish._ Fishes don't go around breaking furniture and bowls.

The said fish simply swam sulkily around his enclosure, looking annoyed - or as annoyed as a goldfish could look. Naruto felt his blood pressure rise dangerously. "Look," He said, forcing himself to remain calm even as he struggled with the overwhelming urge to toss the goldfish into the toiletbowl, "I- what the hell was that all about?"

Sasuke said nothing and continued to swim around in circles, his tail making angry swishing movements. Naruto felt as though he was some counselor trying to get a particularly sulky and petulant teenager to open up to him. After what felt like an eternity (when in reality only two minutes of silence passed by), the goldfish finally mumbled something.

"What was that?" Naruto asked a bit too loudly. Sasuke gave the blonde a half-hearted glare with his coal-black eyes and raised his voice, "I don't like her."

Naruto felt that this statement was hardly worth bashing up some of his few wordly possessions - he was a poor college student after all. "Well that's too bad then! I like Sakura-chan, and I don't care if you've got some issue with her because-"

"You _like_ her, don't you." Sasuke sneered, obsidian eyes flashing. "I can tell. Everytime you talk about her your eyes always light up and you look ten times more of an idiot than you usually do."

"I do not!" Naruto replied indignantly. "Just because she's pretty and smart doesn't mean that I like _like_ her! And this conversation is absurd, I don't even know why are we having it." Sasuke snorted and turned his tail to Naruto. "Just admit it, you've fallen for this human even though she's not exactly good-looking."

Now it was Naruto's turn to snort in disbelief. "How do you gauge her looks when you've never even seen her? And fix those things you broke in your hissy fit."

The black goldfish fixed his eyes onto Naruto's own cerulean blue and said unblinkingly,"I saw her. When she was nosing around the apartment. And I look way better than her in human form," He added rather haughtily. Naruto blinked in confusion. "Wait, you can turn human?"

"Of course not, usuratonkachi. That'll take up too much magical energy."

"Then what was the point of mentioning it?"

Sasuke tossed his fins in a holier-than-thou fashion and smirked, "To show you that I am of better dating material than that pink-haired rag doll." Naruto vaguely felt a massive headache coming on.

"You make no sense at all. Sometimes I _wish_ you'd just go away and leave me alone." Naruto stalked out of the kitchen, walking into his bedroom and slammed the door shut, not realizing what he had said exactly.

Sasuke the goldfish stared at the empty kitchen and sighed quietly to himself, "As you wish, you stupid, _stupid_ dobe."

* * *

Naruto awoke to the morning light streaming upon his face after barricading himself in the safety of his bedroom all of yesterday without even leaving to eat anything. He was still feeling a twinge of annoyance at the goldfish for such childish behavior and really, Naruto didn't quite understand where the root of this whole issue lay.

And so, it was with no small amount of surprise when Naruto discovered that there was no Sasuke to be found. The container was filled with water, but there was no black snarky goldfish to be seen.

Panic began to well within Naruto. What on earth had happened to that asshole fish? Naruto knew that it was highly impossible that some cat had broken into his house in the middle of the night - he lived on the third storey, and none of his neighbors owned wall-scaling cats. At least, not that he knew of.

Naruto stared at the still water in the tank, its inhabitant absent.

_'Sometimes I wish you'd just go away and leave me alone.'_

_'I_ wish_ that you'd just go away and leave me alone.'_

...Fuck.

Naruto swore up a storm whilst pacing rapidly around his kitchen, thinking hard. Old-man Jiraiya was probably the only one who could help him in this situation - _help, the horrible terrible goldfish and I have finally become acquainted but alas due to my everlasting moronic tendency to screw things up, I accidentally wished him away?_

Grabbing his mobile phone, the blonde hastily punched in Old-man Jiraiya's number (thank goodness he had memorized it so long ago),"_I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is currently unavailable."_

"What the hell!" Naruto shouted in exasperation, tossing his phone onto the sofa in agitation. That stupid old man probably ran away from his mounting debts from too much alcohol and running off with women every different night. What was he supposed to do...Wait! The third wish! Naruto realized that there could be a possibility of the goldfish suddenly reappearing if he wished for it to come back. Taking a deep breath and praying hard this would work, Naruto wished aloud:

"I wish that Sasuke would come back."

Nothing happened.

"I wish that we didn't have that fight." Because, Naruto reasoned to himself, if they didn't have that fight, this mess wouldn't have occurred and everything would be fine and peachy, now would it not?

Nothing happened.

"I wish that Sasuke would appear in his bowl again."

Nothing happened.

"I wish that- urgh fuck, this isn't working."

And so Naruto, feeling upset and helpless, decided to simply wait for a while- Jiraiya said he would come back no matter what anyway. But hours turned to days and days to weeks, and there was no black goldfish still.

In which for the next couple of weeks, Naruto had to deal with seeing an empty tank filled with water. Naruto had also secretly wished that Sakura would stop pestering him to go out with her for more study dates (which were in reality simply time spent about how she had acquired a new pair of boots and how couple-ish she made the whole thing turn out to be).

The blonde had also realized that the more he thought about his sarcastic goldfish, the more he compared Sakura's mannerisms to Sasuke's and the more he realized he preferred arguing about whether or not a fallen tree _did_ make a noise even when no one was around rather than listening about inane gossip concerning Neji and Tenten's budding relationship.

"-ruto-kun. Naruto-kun." Sakura's firm voice jolted Naruto from his daydreaming about coal-black eyes as he blinked slowly, returning to the realm of reality where Sakura was not looking one bit pleased at the lack of his attention on her. "Ah, sorry," He said, not feeling sorry at all. "what were you saying?"

The pink-haired girl made a vague noise of frustration and rolled her eyes impressively. "As I was saying, Papa has asked me to go back to France. To complete my studies there." Naruto nodded furiously, trying to make up for the last five or ten minutes of floating around (not literally).

Sakura bit her perfectly-glossed lip and continued, "So I was wondering if you'd like to come with me."

Naruto bit back a grimace at her words. He did like Sakura, but nowadays he was coming to the slow realization that he may not like her as much as he first did. So much for the love of his life. Sakura must have sensed his discomfort, and hurriedly said, "W-Well, it's not like I want to force you or anything - it's just that, I mean, isn't it natural for people our age to go study abroad together? Especially couples like us."

"Oh, yes, I've heard that Temari's thinking about going abroad too...wait. What did you just say?"

The pinkette gave him a mystified glance. "Especially couples like us?"

Naruto felt horror rise rapidly and uncontrollably in his chest as he fought the urge to start hyperventilating. Taking several deep breaths through his nose (inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. That's right Naruto, calm down. Keep calm.) he was inwardly proud of his steady voice when he said, "...We were dating?"

Sakura's emerald eyes widened for a fraction before she hastily laughed, "Always the comedian, Naruto-kun. You're so humorous sometimes."

The blonde shook his head slowly. "I didn't know we were dating. So all this time- all these _study dates_ were actual _dates?_ And you're my _girlfriend?"_

The girl opposite him glowered at him with all the ferocity she could muster as realization that the blonde was not kidding hit her. If looks could kill, Naruto would've been dead by know. "I can't believe I actually spent so much time with you thinking- good Lord! Just how stupid can you be? Any normal guy would've caught on by now-"

"Well, I'm no normal guy-"

"-idiotic, never have I met someone so dense in my entire life! And the worst of all was that I really, _really_ liked you!" Sakura finished, tears brimming in her eyes. "...But you don't like me that way, now do you? Your face says it all, like how you were probably dreaming about your special person."

Naruto opened his mouth to protest against the sheer absurdity of it all - he was thinking about his missing goldfish! His pet! Just because Naruto did not return Sakura's sentiments did not mean that he was in love with the fish! What nonsense! Just because Naruto liked spending time with him and fighting and quarreling did not make Sasuke his special person. Or fish. Whatever.

Sakura stared at him with large, heartbroken eyes and mumbled, "Guess I'll just go to France alone then." and hastily stood up noisily from her seat and swiftly left the cafe and Naruto sitting alone, brain unable to process what on earth had just happened.

* * *

For the next couple of days, Naruto had been receiving increasingly angry phone calls from Temari about The Huge Breakup That Never Was with Sakura. _"Honestly, Naruto-kun,"_ Temari said, sounding exasperated. "_I thought you were so in love with her. That look on your face when you first saw her - you really should've seen your expression. What happened? She says that there's someone you like more then her now," _

In which Naruto would reply in a drained sort of way, "Wasn't she supposed to go to France already? And it's not entirely my fault, we never kissed and she never told me we were going out. I'm not going to apologize for what has happened."

_"What about that special someone she keeps going about?"_

_"_She's just a fucking lunatic. Leave me alone to mope." Thus, the blonde decided to turn off his phone for good and wished for his black snarky goldfish to come back. In between intervals of moping and wishing (continuously), Naruto began to have a series of extremely weird dreams.

_Naruto found himself tied to a tree trunk. _

_"That's no lunch for you, Naruto," Said a tall, silver-haired man wearing some metal headpiece over one eye. To his atmost horror, Naruto realized it was Kakashi (aka the somewhat crazy neighbor who lived next door). Naruto very much wanted to protest against the sheer absurdity of the situation before he caught sight of two other people. _

_It was Sakura - no doubt about that pink hair and the sparkling green eyes - but somehow she seemed younger and less delicate; she had a less than friendly look directed towards him. "Honestly, Naruto!" She huffed loudly, "What kind of baka are you to get caught in such a simple trap!" _

_What trap, Naruto wanted to shout but somehow his mouth refused to open and began to form a semi-pout instead. ...Where was he? And why were they all wearing such strange clothing? _

_"Hn. Usuratonchi." Came a vaguely familiar voice, with a vaguely familiar insult. Naruto whipped his head to the direction of the voice, finally noticing and scrutinizing the last person present in this bizarre scenario. Inky black bangs framed a pale face in which coal-black eyes were fixed upon Naruto's person, almost looking bored. Naruto stared at this boy and had no doubt this was his easily ruffled, annoying goldfish in human form. _

_"Sasuke!" He manages to shout out, his voice too abrasive and rough even to his own ears. 'Help me, why is this happening why won't you come back why won't my mouth move!' _

_The words that tumble out from his mouth are a far cry from what Naruto's thoughts are screaming from the inside, "You're sucha bastard!" _

_Soft-looking lips quirk in slight amusement at the blonde's agitation (Naruto always knew that that goldfish was one sadistic bastard) and coal-black eyes seemingly lose their focus on him as the brunette stared elsewhere. "Hm," The bastard said, apparently finding Naruto too insignificant to even form proper words. _

_And staring at Sasuke's side-profile made Naruto suddenly realize how attractive his goldfish was. It was clear from the way Sakura watched the raven with bright, adoring eyes that seemed to gush out her not-so secret feelings of infatuation for the boy. Naruto shifted uncomfortably in his position. _

_"Well then," Kakashi suddenly piped up after a moment of brief silence, "I'll go get your lunches. You both stay and keep watch on Naruto." and with that, he disappeared into thin air. _

_For some reason, Younger Sakura had also vanished at the same moment, leaving Naruto to sit at his spot with no one to look at but Sasuke. Obsidian eyes turned to stare at Naruto intensely, and Naruto forgot about everything else. _

Naruto woke up gasping for breath and his heartbeat going a trillion miles per hour. The harsh sunlight streamed through his window, shining upon something that was standing up between his legs. Feeling sweaty and highly uncomfortable, Naruto raced to the bathroom, trying to convince himself that this was something perfectly natural for a normal teenaged boy like himself.

_Naruto found himself standing below a balcony, wearing itchy clothes and- good grief, was he wearing tights?!_

_A girl stood on the balcony and addressed him, "How cam'st thou hither, tell me, and wherefore? The orchard walls are high and hard to climb, and the place death, considering who thou art, if any of my kinsmen find thee here." her hair was long and was a shade of pale pink in the moonlight and her emerald eyes glistened with worry._

_Naruto felt his mouth open on its on accord as he declared, " With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do, that dares love attempt: therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me." Naruto resisted the urge to glance upon his tights - he felt insecure in them._

_All of a sudden, a dark-haired maniac appeared out of thin air and cried, "You are a lover; borrow Cupid's wings, and soar with them above a common bound." Naruto stared at the newcomer and realized that this must be Mercutio. "This isn't your scene," He yelled to him, wondering why on earth did he feel inwardly calm about this entire scenario._

_Pink-haired Juliet (who was really Sakura) shouted in a way that was neither ladylike nor sophisticated, "Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills; I am none of his skains-mates. And thou must stand by too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure?" in which Naruto was quite horrified and highly confused to find her taking off her flimsy nightgown before him._

_Mercutio appeared before Naruto, locking his coal-black eyes upon his own cerulean blue. Small, pale hands grabbed at Naruto's hair before yanking him harshly downwards, crashing his soft lips upon Naruto's. Naruto felt himself instinctively reach out to coil his arms around the shorter male as they tried to prolong the kiss for as long as they could without breathing._

_Breaking apart, Mercutio (who was really Sasuke) panted, "Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature: for this drivelling love is like a great natural, that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole." his cheeks were a dark hue of crimson and Naruto found that this look suited him very well._

_They kissed again._

_Sasuke caressed Naruto's tanned, scarred cheeks before murmuring,"Shall I believe that unsubstantial death is amorous, and that the lean abhorred monster keeps thee here in dark to be his paramour?" and Naruto felt his Shakespearean tongue force out, "For fear of that, I still will stay with thee; and never from this palace of dim night depart again: here, here will I remain."_

_Naruto was quite sure that his brain was fried, as he realized he didn't quite care if the whole thing was absurd and didn't make sense at all. Sasuke, who had wrapped his arms around Naruto's neck, smiled at him faintly before pulling him down for another kiss._

Naruto awoke feeling sticky and highly uncomfortable again, and groaned when he saw something standing up between his legs yet again. As he raced off to get a cold shower, Uzumaki Naruto wondered if it were natural to keep having a certain kind of dreams about one's pet goldfish. He also resolved to himself that he would burn his one and only copy of Romeo and Juliet.

_Naruto found himself sitting outside a cafe opposite Sakura. And...they were in France- Paris, to be exact, judging from the way the Eiffel Tower stood proudly some distance away._

_"Oh, Naruto-kun," Sighed Sakura dreamily, twirling a lock of pink hair around her fingers, "this is all so romantic."_

_Naruto nodded mutely, staring at his half-drunk tea on the small, round table designed specially for couples. Sakura stood up from her seat and spun around, her lavender dress billowing in the gentle autumn wind. Naruto had to admit she was beautiful, smiling in her gentle way as she reached out to tug Naruto's sleeve._

_Naruto obligingly stood up, allowing her to guide him around the table towards the open space, whereby Sakura laughed daintily and said, "This is so wonderful, Naruto-kun!" and with a sharp tug on his stiff collar, leaned forward and kissed him._

_And suddenly it wasn't Sakura who was kissing him but Sasuke, with a mischievous twinkle in his obsidian eyes. They broke apart after a while, the both of them suitably flushed and panting. Sasuke grabbed ahold of Naruto's hands and whispered,"Dance with me, dobe."_

_"But I don't know how to dance!" Naruto protested, cheeks reddening. Sasuke's lips pursed, and Naruto vaguely wondered if he had unwittingly killed the mood. If there was a mood in the first place. "I'll teach you," The raven said softly, placing his hands onto Naruto's waist. "hold my shoulders." _

_The blonde gingerly held his previous-goldfish's narrow shoulders, hoping against all hope that this would not end badly. Sasuke smiled faintly again (Naruto felt his heartbeat increase slightly) and asked, "Are you ready?" _

_"As ready as I ever will be," Naruto sighed in resignation. Sasuke chuckled a little, locking his coal-black eyes with Naruto's. "It's just slow dancing. All we do is sway on the spot." _

_Music from nowhere began to play, and Sasuke hummed softly under his breath whilst swaying with Naruto gently. "See, it's not so bad now is it, usuratonkachi?" He whispered into Naruto's ear, his hot breath making Naruto shiver involuntarily. The blonde smiled at the raven, wondering when did that insulting nickname sound like an endearment. _

_"Hm, not bad at all," Naruto murmured equally softly, and this time it was he who leaned forward and pressed his lips against Sasuke's. _

The blonde slowly blinked himself awake as the sun cast gentle warm rays across his bed. It was no surprise to him by now that he was sticky and uncomfortable and aroused - there, he said it! - and thus while slowly ambling off in the direction of his bathroom, he allowed himself a small smile.

Who knew that goldfishes knew how to dance?

* * *

The blonde found himself roaming Konoha's streets again. It was winter now, but thankfully the snow wasn't heavy and besides, Naruto had this strong feeling within him ever since he woke up to go outside and take a walk.

It was like a magnetic pull, his feet leading him across streets and along pavements that was crowded with last-minute Christmas shoppers that carried tons of boxes and bags for their numerous friends and relatives.

The snow began to fall heavier.

Naruto paused as his feet eventually led him into a neighborhood, with enormous houses lined neatly along the two sides of the street. The tall iron gates and the impeccable atmosphere which reeked of richness was vaguely familiar as he slowly trudged along the stretch of houses, taking his time to study them carefully.

And suddenly, Naruto remembered that this was where he had met Sabaku Sasori, the stubborn red-head with the easily agitated blonde butler. Just like a dream, the blonde turned as the sound of iron gates from the house opposite clanked open and a red haired boy appeared and waved at him furiously. "Uzumaki Naruto right?" Sasori called. "I remember you!"

Naruto waved awkwardly back, "I remember you too. ...Sasori right?"

The boy nodded, looking pleased through his heavily lidded eyes. "Come in to have some tea," He offered politely. "it's getting terribly cold out there, and you don't look as though you could survive the night out there. Roaming the streets for food," The last bit was added thoughtfully, as though all middle-class citizens roamed the streets at night searching for food.

Naruto hesitated slightly - would the irate butler come along to throw him out? - but Sasori gave him a miniature glare as he tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for Naruto to come. "Well, are you coming? I hate waiting for people. For just waiting in general." The boy looked as though he was about to pout.

The blonde finally walked up to the enormous house and the iron gates clanked behind him as they closed. Sasori muttered, "Deidara is sick today, hence we can do whatever we want today. What sort of tea would you like?"

Naruto shrugged, "I'll have whatever you're having." in which Sasori smiled and said happily, "Good choice! Whatever I choose to have is always fabulous." and the heavy oak door swung open to reveal the house's beautiful interior.

Everything was either made of expensive dark wood, like the coffee table, or dainty glass like the enormous chandelier that hung from the high ceiling above. Women dressed in French maid outfits bowed whenever Sasori passed them, and curiously glanced at Naruto in his bright, woolen sweater.

Sasori plunked himself onto a huge, intricately designed armchair and called loudly to no one in particular, "We'll have the usual." in which a maid seemingly appeared from nowhere and began to set down a delicate china teapot along with equally fragile looking teacups and a basket of crumpets. Sasori grabbed a crumpet and started munching on it contently, oblivious to Naruto sitting rather awkwardly on another armchair which probably cost more than his entire apartment plus furniture.

"So," Came the muffled voice of Sasori trying to cram another crumpet into his mouth, "I've been expecting you." Naruto tried to ignore the way he spewed crumbs this way and that at him.

"How so?"

Sasori shrugged and reached for his dainty teacup. "Just a feeling."

Naruto sipped a little at his tea. It was sweet, with a tinge of sourness in it. "Erm," He suddenly blurted out,"I have a magical goldfish. Who can grant me three wishes."

Sabaku Sasori nodded slowly, and stared at him intently. "Go on," He said, interested in what Naruto had to say. There was no sign of disbelief or even amusement in those hazel eyes, as the boy regarded him with all the seriousness a child could offer. And so Naruto told him everything. Of how he had first freaked out about the goldfish, of his attraction to Sakura which was quickly diminishing thanks to the said goldfish, of how oh lord- of how he thought that he might like his goldfish a little more than he should. A lot more, to be honest.

And of how he accidentally wished him away and how he was unable to wish him back, no matter how hard he wished. Sasori said nothing during Naruto's entire rant, simply listening and sipping at his tea carefully.

"Maybe," Sasori began after Naruto was finally done speaking, "maybe all this while you've been wishing for the wrong things. Maybe all you have to do is wish for the thing your heart yearns the most."

"...My heart?"

The red-head nodded solemnly. "Sometimes, meditation helps," He added rather helpfully. "I have to go check on Deidara, please wait here for the moment." With that, Sasori stood up, brushing all crumbs from his clothing and marched off to find his favorite blonde butler.

Naruto sat alone in the living room, trying to collect his thoughts to think coherently. Perhaps what Sasori said was true. His heart...his heart...what did he truly want?

_Sasuke, who had wrapped his arms around Naruto's neck, smiled at him faintly before pulling him down for another kiss._

___"See, it's not so bad now is it, usuratonkachi?" _

_____Obsidian eyes turned to stare at Naruto intensely, and Naruto forgot about everything else._

_"Well, usuratonkachi," The black goldfish continued as if it had not heard Naruto's outburst, "the name's Sasuke."_

_"Dance with me, dobe."_

Naruto frowned to himself. He was able to recall each and every dream vividly, as though they were memories themselves. He could practically recall the feeling and the sense of touch which came with them, leaving him to wonder if he was really talking to his black goldfish or not.

He wanted Sasuke.

Not just for the moment or just as friends, he wanted- no, needed Sasuke to be with him always. To exchange insults and poke fun of each other, to break apart flushed and panting and feeling complete. Naruto took a deep breath, and poured out all of his emotions when he spoke aloud.

"I wish that Sasuke would stay with me forever."

Naruto paused and waited for something to happen. The only thing that did was a maid, seeing that Sasori had successfully devoured all of the crumpets along with the tea hurriedly began to keep the fine china. After waiting for several long moments, Naruto began to feel cheated. Just like when he first received Sasuke.

The blonde felt this heaviness he had not known existed before, and plastering a smile on his face, he politely asked a passing maid if she would be so kind as to tell Young Master Sasori that he was grateful for the tea and the company before insisting that he could show himself the way out.

"Oh, but Bocchama said that there might be a visitor coming who wants to see you," Said a busty blonde maid, biting her lip nervously.

Naruto smiled sadly at her. "I'm sorry, but I really have to go," And just as he pulled the front door open, the door bell rang. In which Naruto found himself face to face with a brunette, coal-black eyes glittering with amusement and fair skin glowing faintly in the warm light of the Sabaku household.

The brunette was dressed in an expensive looking black coat, complete with designer jeans and dark boots. His cheeks were flushed from the cold as he gave Naruto a faint smile that the blonde was so familiar with. Naruto was unable to say anything at first, simply standing there gaping like a fish.

"You!" He finally managed to splutter, his hand still gripping the gold door-handle hard.

"Me," Said Sasuke nonchalantly, although his obsidian eyes were dancing with laughter at Naruto's incoherency.

"You..I..They was supposed to be dreams!" Naruto had this strong sense of Déjà vu about this conversation they were having. Sasuke simply chuckled softly, locking eyes with the blonde. "Well, those were dreams. But this isn't."

And Naruto, standing in the doorway of an extremely expensive house with the true love of his life right in front of him, suddenly knew that everything was going to be okay.

Thus, Uzumaki Naruto, nineteen going onto twenty - in the prime of his life - bought and eventually fell in love with his black goldfish. Be it magical or not.

* * *

A/N: Whoots! 11k words:-) longest thing I've ever written. I really wanted to start on Of Lies and Roses but this story wouldn't stop pestering me. 'Sides, I haven't written anything for so long most of you prolly think I'm dead. For some reason I really like this story even though it's not that good. Maybe a little long-winded and too much NaruSaku instead of NaruSasu! Hahaha. Review please:)

(1): Generally, it is believed (eg Feng Shui) that by keeping eight goldfishes and one black goldfish, the black goldfish will help to "absorb" the negative energy that enters your home. If the black goldfish dies, it is believed that it has died absorbing the bad luck meant for you.

(2): Japanese honorifics are suffixes, prefixes or titles and are a key part in the Japanese culture and language.

(3): A gou-kon is something like group dating with two equal numbers of men and women.

(4): Bocchama - Young Master

Oh, and I totally bastardized the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet. Most of the lines weren't even from the correct character, let alone the scene! Ah, but it's a dream so whatever.


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